@bbaroff: @IU_Students I must get more Tweet in my life. More, more, more.

It’s not enough to have a Twitter address on every TV network, news publication, and radio station. Or that the little blue Twitter bird and logo appears on the top, side and bottom of every website and Smartphone.

It’s not enough to know what every athlete, movie star, and celebrity is doing at all times – now we can even locate them by their tweets -  but you can even have customized tweet lists, viewing the tweets of only those you consider tweetest to you.

I want more. You could say I’m getting ‘tweety’.

I want the tattoos on our athletes to take the form of the twitter bird.

I want baseballs, basketballs and footballs to include the twitter logo.

I want the badminton birdie to be shaped like the twitter bird.

I want to know who’s in the penalty tweet, the on-deck tweet, and the press tweet.

Twitter on the Internet is not enough.

I want the tweet news network. “The Daily Tweet Show.” “The Late Night Tweet Show.” “Good Morning Tweeters.” “Tweet.0.”

I want to enroll in T-101, and no, that’s not a telecom class.

It’s not enough that Shaq and Chad OchoCinco want to tweet during games. It’s not enough that athletes have tweeted during games!

It should be mandatory that ALL athletes tweet at the end of every quarter, period, and inning. In fact, scrap quarters, periods and innings, they will henceforth be referred to as tweets.

I want to wear tweet-bands and rock the new Jordan “tweets.” I want the twitter bird lasered onto my retinas.

I want to name my son Tweet. Tweetie if it’s a girl.

I want these things because Twitter is becoming the fastest evolving, most pervasive and paramount trend in our culture today.

Twitter is so popular that the name of the company doesn’t even appear anymore. On the bottom of websites, magazines, and newspapers you just get the tweet bird or symbolic ‘t’ and you already know.

Twitter has become a lifestyle; better yet, a following (no pun intended).

Do you see the way the bird flaps its little wings, sputtering up and down?

“Come with me and everything will be delightful and magical in twitter land,” it chirps. It’s cute, it’s sociable, and it’s peaceful.

It’s the little bird singing through your window on a bright, sunny morning. It leads me straight to my laptop to start my day with beautiful tweet nothings from my friends, favorite celebrities and our own IU athletes.

Just the other day Tom Crean thanked me for my energy at the game. Thank you, Tom. So few take the time.

Today, I was greeted by a message from Maurice Creek: “Good morning Twitter fam.” That Maurice, always so thoughtful. And yes @IuCwat205, I too have my #gamedayflow.

Don’t underestimate the tweet. Twitter is big, but not big enough. From now on, instead of H-O-R-S-E, kids will play T-W-E-E-T.

I want the sound of the ball being squashed in the catcher’s glove to go tweet! I want the hockey siren, the shot clock buzzer, and the ref’s whistle to blare tweet!

I want to play tennis with Tweet Sampras, guard Tweet Maravich and wear a number tweety-three Michael Jordan jersey.

OchoCinco, the coolest athlete on planet tweet has a new tweet every hour; in fact, 24,349 to be exact. He makes jokes, outrageous statements and even proposals to his followers on Twitter.

During the 2009-2010 NFL season, OchoCinco offered a shopping spree to anybody that gave him a ride from the Bengals team hotel in Pittsburgh to the mall. Two lucky followers and their infant toddler ended up being three happy tweeters.

Had the kid not tweeted his father and friend after they hastily rushed out of the house without him, he would have missed out. Good thing their kid is tweeting at an advanced age.

The Bengals won at Pittsburgh that week. Maybe the tweet is the source of his talent!

I wasn’t always tweet crazy. I used to seethe at the thought of my own Twitter account. I loathed it.

“Why?” I asked my friends. “Why does your life revolve around tweeting?”

In protest, I vowed never to get my own Twitter account. I lasted two weeks into my fall semester of sophomore year before my J200 professor required we create a twitter account for class. Yes, I was graded on the quality of my tweets.

I failed.

Something tweeted away in me that afternoon. I gave in. You cannot fight the tweet.

Now, I want to wake up in the morning and eat a big bowlful of Honey Bunches of Tweets as part of a nutritionally balanced breakfast. I want to meet Simon Oxley, the Japan based British Illustrator who designed the twitter bird and sold Twitter the rights for $7. Seven Dollars! Anybody else see a movie coming this fall?

The tweet is like food. You have to ‘tweat’, or you will not survive. I want the Twitter symbol on the periodic table of elements. I want the ‘t’ to be the 27^th letter of the alphabet. No, even better, an entire other language!

Please, I implore you, do not fight the tweet. Confide in the tweet.

The tweet is all that is good in this world. Barack Obama has a twitter account. Maybe he will let the tweet bail us out of our time of economic hardship.

Of course, we would have to allow for a few small modifications.

“Mr. President, is that a new bird on the quarter?”